Tasuki and the THING
by fire demoness
Summary: Tasuki finds a THING in Miaka's backpack. What is it? All the Suzaku seishi eventually.(H,N,Tas,Chiri,Chiriko,M)*NEW CHAPTER UP* yay!dont worri, i havent forgotten about this fic! in fact, tis me fav!PLEASE review! dont lose intrest!=(then i'll be sad...
1. Tasuki

Disclaimer: I own nada.  
  
AN: this is just for fun, after all my serious yet perdi good fics, I felt like a change would be nice. Tell me if you want me to do all the Suzaku seishi or not. Miaka bashing. Yes... good. I **HATE** her.i think everyone can guess what the "Thing" is.  
  
Chapter 1: Tasuki and the "thing"...  
  
By:fire demoness  
  
Tasuki was searching through Miaka's backpack for something she called " a watch" but it was no use. All there were were candy wrappers and globs of chocolate. Tasuki's hand suddenly collided with something very hard at the bottom of her backpack.  
  
"ITAII!!!!DAMNIIITTT!WHAT THE FUCK!?!  
  
He took his throbbing red hand out and ran around in circles, blowing at his swollen hand. Tasuki looked at the backpack in anger and let out a war cry. He pounced on it and started searching through the backpack again. This time, the other hand collided with the evil "Thing" at the bottom of her backpack. He bit his lip to keep from screaming and somehow pulled it out.  
  
It was metal and shiny, kind of like his tessen. It was long and had lines and numbers written on it. When he hit it, it made a "boing" noise and sprang up and down. He almost dropped it but instead he gathered all his courage and held it at arm's length.  
  
"CM? MM? WHAT KIND OF ALIEN LANGUAGE IS THIS!?!?!"  
  
he dropped the "thing" quickly and glared at it. The sun reflected off of it and got into his eyes.Tasuki ran around clutching his eyes and then squinted at it. He'd teach that thing a lesson it wont forget!  
  
"REKKA SHINEN!!!!!!!"  
  
he fried the "thing", but all it did was get red-got. Tasuki's jaw dropped and he ran around it in circles, thwapping his tessen at it. After the dust cleared, all that remained were little bits of the "thing" and Tasuki grinned at his victory over the "thing" he walked away, singing a tune to the song " itsy bitsy spider" from which he had learned from Miaka. It was her favorite song.  
  
Behind him, the "thing's" red hot pieces clashed together by the rough wind and started a spark in the forest...  
  
TBC?  
  
I REALLLYYY NEED TO KNOW IF I SHOULD CONTINUE OR NOT!!!AND GIMmE SOME IDEAS!!!PLLLZZ?!?!??yes the "thing" is evil. If you don't review, ill sic it on you! Ha!!O.O;; 


	2. Chichiri

Disclaimer:not mine.  
  
AN: THANKS SOOOO MUCH TO ALL THE REVIEWERS!!!!!!!!!read this chapter to find out what the "thing" is. I thought I made it easy to guess...i am making a 'thing" with every charcacter. If I get enough reviews, ill do anotha one, and so on. PEOPLE,IMPORTANT, TELL ME WHO I SHOULD DO NEXT!!!! Mai favorite is Tasuki, then Nuriko, then Chichiri, btu then who? OO.you may begin to see a pattern in the "thing"s.  
  
**A fun game for reviewers/bribe:First person to guess the "thing" for each character gets something in the last chapter.If you don't get it in chapter 2, review quickly in chapter 3. Gettit? You'll see what I mean... but the other reviewers that aren't that fast get credit too. So review!**  
  
Chapter 2: Chichiri and the "Thing"  
  
By:fire demoness  
  
Chichiri was walking through the woods, looking for Tasuki. There had been a terrible forest fire a few hours ago. Thankfully there was a stream nearby.  
  
"Daa..."  
  
he sighed, draggin his feet across the scorched and burned ground. He saw a glimpse of something brown. Chichiri went over to look at it. It was Miaka's backpack. Well, bits of it anyways. He could see traces of candy wrappers laying all over the forest floor. Yup. Had to be Miaka's backpack. Chichiri picked it up and got ready to go, but his foot was stuck. He looked down.  
  
"NANI!??!! WHAT IS THIS NO DAAA?!?!?!"  
  
There was a pool of sticky white substance clinging onto his shoe. Beside it lay a bottle.Chichiri pulled as hard as he could, but the stuff would not let go. Finally, he pulled off his shoe and squatted down beside the bottle. It was clear and there was a paper sheet around the middle. It was blocked out by the white "thing" that was running down one side.  
  
"G-something no da"  
  
Was all he could make out. (COME ON!!!u HAVE to get this one!) The white stuff was flowing onto his hand and he shrieked.  
  
"ACKK!!! IT WANTS TO EAT ME NO DAAA!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
  
  
He tried to run away, but another glop of the white thing stuck to his other foot and he couldn't move. He went into chibi form and started waving his hands around.  
  
At that moment, Tasuki came crawling over, scorch marks all over him and he coughed out a puff of smoke.  
  
"E-Evill..."  
  
He saw Chichiri and went over to him, looking down calmly.  
  
"Sooo... sup? Are you alright? I was attacked by a monster, how about ya?"  
  
he asked caually, as if an attacking "thing" from his miko's backpack was something he met everyday. Chichiri glared at him and almost screeched.  
  
"DO I LOOK OK TO YOU!?!?"  
  
Tasuki just blinked.  
  
"ya uhh forgot ta add ya "no da"s..."  
  
"NO FREAKING DA!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
tasuki rubbed his ear frantically. Was he deaf? Chichiri started hitting him on the arm, trying to get his attention. The "thing" was slowly getting bigger and bigger. Soon it will devour them all!!!!!!Chichiri shrieked and Tasuki finally sighed and after about 15 minutes, decided Chichiri didn't need shoes. They ran off faster than the speed of light, never wanting to see the "thing"s again.  
  
Behind them, the pool that the "thing" made was getting bigger and bubbles were coming out...  
  
TBC?  
  
R & R!!!!!!same thing. 5 revews before next chapter. Yes it's a bribe. Oops. Shouldn't have toldja that!!!!OO 


	3. Nuriko

Disclaimer: not mine  
  
AN: OK for some people not living in the U.S or don't have-Oops almost gave away an important fact there! ^^. Well, anyways, I shall explain the "things" at the last last chapter. I think. I STILL do not have a plot, but it's just for fun rite? ^.^im listening to Pink's new Cd. It is GOOD!!!Especially #2, I'm a hazard to maiself. I accadentaly called "Missundaztood", Miss undas Todd. ^^ im an idiot.Grace got linkin park but. well, its better then the rock I guess. Alternative is, umm, standable. There! I gave her a semi-complement!!!! ^.^  
  
OMG THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED!!!!!! YOUR ENCOURAGEMENT IS ALL THAT IS MAKING ME SPEND SO MUCH TIME ON ThIS FIC AND NOT ON MAI 6 oTHER ONES!!! ARIGOUTO!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Chapter 3: Nuriko.  
  
BY: fire demoness  
  
Nuriko was tending to the camp fire when Tasuki, scorched and ashy, followed by Chichiri, barefooted and pale, barged in through the bushes. They were both muttering gibberish, chichiri pointing at his feet with "NO!! nO DA!!!DA NO DA!!! DA! FEET!!!NO DA!!!DA NO!!!!NO DA!!!!!!" every time he pointed. Tasuki was waving his tessen around, knocking camp sulplies around and flaming everything. He was also shouting gibberish, but Nuriko didn't mind him. Tasuki was always acting crazy sometime in the day.  
  
"CHICHIRI!!CALM DOWN!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Nuriko grabbed Chichiri by the shoulders and shook him, forgetting his own strength. Chichiri's head bobbed forward and backwards, tounge rolling out and in chibi form.( WHAT?!?! He is SOOO kawaii in chibi form!!!!!)  
  
"Da... **hic** Itsy no da bitsy spider no da. Nuriko no daaaa... Monster.Eat me. Feet no da. "  
  
"WHAT?!?! ARE YOU CALLING _ME_ A MONSTER!??!?"  
  
Nuriko hit Chichiri over the head again, and now Chihciri had swirls in his eyes, singing "Row row row your boat" Nuriko went over to Tasuki and punched him out too. It was up to him to find out what had made them this way. It wasn't hard, considering the scorch marks and white stuff dripping everywhere they went. Behind him you could hear Chichiri still singing.  
  
"Row **gehhhh** row row your boat no da!!! Itsy bitsy im a little teapot row row row... noooo ddaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
he collapsed and started snoring.  
  
Meanwhile, Nuriko had found the site where the two seishi had met. Around it were 2 shoes, covered with white stuff, and there was a spreading pool of it on the ground. He winced and went over to the raggedy brown thing lying on the forest ground. It might have been Miaka's school backpack. Whatever "school" was. She had spent 3 days trying to get them to understand completely. It was all Chiriko's fault, he kept asking questions out of her intilegence range.  
  
Inside the backpack, there were moutains and mountains of empty candy wrappers, chocolate stains, and... something shiny. He picked it up and looked at it. It was shiny alright. Long and had two split ends at the bottom and top, connected in the middle. Hard and heavy, it looked durable and dangerous with its metal "teeth" in the linings of the inside of the top split. Nuriko pulled at it and to his surprise, the thing bended, the bottom spreading further and the top closing in, the teeth clamping together perfectly.  
  
What if he could give this to hotohori? Then Hotohori would love him back!  
  
**daydream**  
  
He was presenting the "thing" to Hotohori. The emporer was smiling at him and declaring his love for Nuriko.  
  
**end daydream**  
  
Nuriko was still examining it when someone pushed him from behind, pushing him forward and the shiny"thing" clamped down on his finger, almost crushing it. His other hand was still on the handle, but he didn't realize it.  
  
"AHH!!!!MONSTER!!!!!!!!kILL IT!!!!!! IT'S EATING MY FINGER!!!!!!!"  
  
He ran around, blowing on his swollen finger and dropped the "Thing" from Miaka's backpack. The person that had pushed her was just standing there, looking onwards calmly. He had short auburn hair that was tied into a ponytail that stuck straight up and looked to be about 8. Chiriko looked at Nuriko with wide eyes. He was just trying to see if Nuriko would play with him. It was very lonely now, because he was so little and such a genius that they wouldn't play with him. Nuriko would have, but he looked a bit... busy right now.  
  
"YA DAMN KID!!!!!!!! YOU' RE SUPPOSED TO BE SMART!!!!!!!! HOW THE HELL DO YOU GET THE IDEA TO JUMP ON MAI BACK?!?!?"  
  
He screamed at the little kid. Chiriko wimpered and ran off into the woods. Nuriko, still nursing his finger, looked down at the "thing" and picked it up slowly.  
  
"so you bite eh? Well! I'll show you! Ill break you so your top meets your bottom."  
  
Nuriko slammed it onto a rock, denting it.  
  
"WHAT!?!? YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BREAK!!!!!!"  
  
he slammed it onto a tree then, it got another dent. After about the 4th time, he tried biting it, bending it, and kicking it. Almost broke, but didn't. He finally walked away, muttering about how damn good quality things were in these days. He threw it into the bushes as he walked away, looking for Chiriko.  
  
Behind him, the deformed "thing" hit the head of a sleeping panther squarely in the nose.  
  
  
  
TBC  
  
Ok this one isnt as funny and is kind of weird. I know! But I didn't know what to put for Nuriko. This "thing" does not fall into pattern but I judge: its miaka, you never know what she may have in her backpack. 


	4. Hotohori

Disclaimer: not mine  
  
AN: people, you have made this author VERY happy!!!!! You do not KNOW how glad I am!!!!!! I will scream with joy if this one's reviews pass "the Journey"s. I would write 3 chapters in one day if that happened! ^^. But its not. That one has 52 reviews. Well, its close! THANKS TO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!  
  
This one is for Ohimesama_Shinigami, who said that I should do Hotohori next. You can tell me who to make and I'll make it. Once im done with Suzaku, I MIGHT do a seiyruu one. If I get enough encouragement. I think theirs will be funny too.  
  
Here are the scores for who guessed right:  
  
(to anyone else that thought it was funny, your reviews really make me want to continue this! To those who guessed but didn't get to be the 1st one to guess it, you still have a part too! Man that's gonna take serious thinking about how to fit 15-sumthing people into one chapter and actually make sense! Tell me if you have any ideas?)  
  
Chapter 1: weaselgirl.  
  
Chapter 2:Queen Celestia.  
  
Chapter 3:Mysia Ri  
  
* Chapter 3 WAS VERY HARD!!! It took me awhile to think of something that wouldn't break as soon as Nuriko hit it. Twas hard. It is a mETAL THING. That's why I said "shiny" in there about 5 times. Yah ok. Umm its NOT in pattern with the other things. They are school things. This is not. Its something you use at home. Some people do. I do!  
  
Chapter 4: Hotohori  
  
By: fire demoness  
  
Hotohori was riding on his horse, looking at the wilderness around him. The birds were singing, everything was peaceful, he was at peace with the world...  
  
"AHH!!!MYHANDGOTCHOMPEDONANDITSGONNAEATUSRUNFORYOURLIVES!!!!!!!!"  
  
"SOMETHINGISINTHEWOODSANDITGOTBOTHMYSHOESNODAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"  
  
"THEFUCKINGTHINGAMAGICCRAZYWHATCHAMACALLITMANSTERTRIEDTOFUCKINGBURNMETODEATH !!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"I don't know them either."  
  
Hotohori just blinked.  
  
Nuriko, Chichiri and Tasuki were huffing and puffing. Chiriko was just standing there, sweatdropping. Apparently, judging by the size of that bump on Chichiri's head and the smashed in cheek on Tasuki's face, Nuriko had punched him. Nuriko's swollen finger was a mystery though.  
  
"HOTOHORI-SAMAA!!!! There are soo many freaky things in Miaka's backpack!!!! They are Monsters and they can make HORRIBLE things happen!!! I'll explain later!!"  
  
Nuriko took ahold of his reins and started pulling, but the horse was making this hard. Well, until it saw what jumped out of the bushes. Then it ran like hell, Hotohori hanging on for dear life and Nuriko STILL holding onto the reins. Chiriko was sitting on the horse behind Hotohori, screaming.  
  
"PANNNTTHHHEERRR!!!"  
  
**still with the panther**  
  
Tasuki looked at it with huge wide eyes.  
  
"Easy now... niccee kitttyyy. Don't eat me. I'm too young to diee!!!!!!"  
  
He screamed as the "nice kitty" showed its "nice fangs" and leaped. Suddenly, he was wisked away. He blinked. Chichiri looked at the panther and cast an imobolization spell. It stopped, frozen in midair. Chichiri got up and started walking.  
  
"Come on Tasuki no da. We have to catch up no da."  
  
Tasuki nodded and went over to the panther. He looked solem.  
  
**silence**  
  
**birds chirp**  
  
**PFHH!!! **blows raspberry** Nya nya nya nya nya!! Who's the fucking big scary damn kitty NOW?!?HA-AHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
His tauntings turned into a high scream as Chichiri took off the spell to spite him. The panther immediately hissed and chased after him. Tasuki tore off in Hotohori and Nuriko's direction. Chichiri sighed and made another spell. It would hold for about 2 hours. Then, it was run-for-your-dear-life again.  
  
** when the horse finally stops**  
  
Hotohori fell forward as his horse halted without warning. It was looking every which way with huge eyes that bulged out. Hotohori patted it on the head and it ninnied. Then...  
  
"Well, your horse isnt much of a fierce horse now is it?Considering how it passed out with you just patting it."  
  
Hotohori glared at the young genius behind him. Chiriko just gave him a HUGE smile and got off the collapsed horse. Nuriko stood up and straightened. He was holding something that may have once been brown.  
  
"what is that Nuriko?"he asked.  
  
Nuriko looked startled and then put it behind his back.  
  
"Oh it's nothing.NOTHING AT ALL."  
  
He ran off, looking nervous and edgy.  
  
Hotohori blinked again. Then he noticed something shiny on the ground. It must have dropped out while Nuriko was running. He picked it up.  
  
"What in the world?"  
  
It was an edge of something shiny poking out of a long rectangular box. He opened it up and noticed there was a whole roll of it. The shiny sheet of what seemed to be paper. He picked at an edge and it came off. He gasped. It was amazing!  
  
**two hours later**  
  
Chiriko sat at the fire.  
  
"what is Hotohori doing? He has been hiding and playing with something for the past 2 hours!"  
  
Nuriko sighed.  
  
"Who knows? At least he doesn't know about the horrors I found in Miaka's backpack.  
  
  
  
**back with Hotohori( yes im confusing maiself)**  
  
he was still playing with the "thing" he had found. The amazing and wonderous thing... well, until it cut him.  
  
"AHH!!!!!!!PAPERCUT!!!!!"  
  
he screamed running around holding his finger. He tripped over the box and fell into a puddle of mud.  
  
"AHH!! MY BEAUTIFUL faCE!!!!!"  
  
Hotohori fainted.  
  
**back with Nuriko and Chiriko**  
  
"I wonder what he's doing." Said Chiriko as he chomped on a tender, juicy chicken leg.  
  
" who knows?I'll ask him in the morning. Good-night Chiriko."  
  
Nuriko went to a seluded spot and fell asleep, as did Chiriko after he finished the chicken leg.  
  
Hotohori was still in the mud.  
  
"**gurgle gurgle** h-**bubble of oxygen**hel-lp?"  
  
TBC?  
  
OK this chapter SUCKED and I am sooo sorry! This is not a school item, no WAY it is. Not a hair ornament either. Household item. Just think outside o da box. ^^ 


	5. Chiriko

Disclaimer: I dun own Fushigi Yuugi, or anything else. I DO however, own a penny! **grace steals penny away** D'oh!  
  
AN: ok my other fics were getting englected and I didn't WANT to do them, but I felt the reviewers needed something, but now its back to playing favorites!^^  
  
check out mai poems plz! What its really like and also And now you're gone.)  
  
THIS ONE IS EASSSSSSSYYY!!!!!!!!!! Sooooo easy!and I think its perdi funny though.^^  
  
(UMM... MIGHT be miaka bashing. But FUNNY!!!!!!)  
  
Chapter 5: Chiriko  
  
By: fire demoness  
  
Chiriko crawled around the camp site, looking ravenously for something to eat. He and Nuriko had found Hotohori yesterday, in the most curious position, in a puddle of mud, with his face in it.  
  
He giggled. So Hotohori HADN'T been giving himself a make-do facial. A growl of protest from his empty stomach made him forget about Hotohori and Nuriko, whom had left him with no food and instead had gone down to the river to wash off Hotohori's face and get firewood too, oblivious of Chiriko's whine about lack of food.  
  
Chiriko noticed something brown from the corner of his eye as he was coming out of Nuriko's tent. Miaka's "backpack." He rushed over as quick as he could, with a spark of hope left. Miaka usually found every crumb of food left, but what if by a miricle, she left something? Even a bag of what she had called "chips" would do.  
  
He dug a hand in, cringing in disgust at all the empty wrappers and what seemed to be some slobber on it. His hand suddenly found something solid and he pulled it out eagerly. It was not food, but something weird.  
  
The "thing" was square-like and had a cover with pages of paper inside. Colorful writing was on the color, but in a different language. Chiriko opened it curiously.  
  
**thud**  
  
the "thing" dropped to the ground as Chiriko gasped.  
  
"**sob** It...*Sniffle** knows more than ME!! NO!!!!!!! WHAT IS THIS UNGODLY MONSTER?!!?"  
  
It was so amazing. And dangerous. Inside were more words and definitions that he himself knew. It must be evil and Chiriko HAD to destroy it. But what if it DIDN'T know more words? Wont hurt to try...  
  
**later**  
  
"GGRRRRR!!!!!!!!"  
  
Chriko bit at the "thing", trying to destroy all evidence of it ever being there.After awhile, he had found out that the "thing" did indead know more words than even he himself. If the others ever found out, they would go to it insead of Chiriko! That cant happen. It. Must.Die.  
  
In the end, the cover held and Chiriko gave up. All he could do know was throw it into the fire and hope it would burn.  
  
**behind chiriko's retreating back**  
  
the "thing"'s pages began to burn and the fire fed on them greedily, the fire slowly going over the rocks that held it in place...  
  
TBC  
  
Ok I know this chapter sucked, but im tired. Gomen...I FINALLY figured out how to make the 3 dotties!!!!!! YAY! GO me!!!!!!!!... O.O;; 


	6. Mitsukake

Disclaimer: not mine  
  
AN: Wow... I have no idea what I am gonna do with all the reviwers... I HAD an idea and then I ditched it... tell me plz!! Ok for the last reviewer as of the day after Christmas, what do u mean? First you tell me that it isnt funny, then that another author should do it and you end with "never stop writing" WTF?!?! I don't really get if that's a diss, an encouragement, or neither. I'm not stupid, just confused.  
  
(people have different tastes of humor, I just go by what I think makes sense. It might not be funny to some, just try to understand and if you really just can NOT STAND it, go read something else. Im not trying to be mean.)  
  
THANK YOU REVIEWERS!!!!!!! It's ur encouragement that makes me want to write more!!!  
  
The winners start to show up more in the next few chapters...  
  
  
  
Chapter 6: Mitsukake  
  
By: fire demoness  
  
Mitsukake walked along the ashen forest road, looking for any signs of Tasuki ever being here. Miaka had gotten worried when only 2 of her seishi were around her. Because Tamahome and her were too busy doing their "mating call"( yes like da birds…)  
  
**memory**  
  
Miaka: Tamahome...  
  
Tamahome: Miaka...  
  
Miaka: Tamahome...  
  
Tamahome: Miaka...  
  
Miaka: Tamahome...  
  
Tamahome:Miaka...  
  
(Oooo creates a perdi pattern don't it?^^sorry miaka/tamahome fans)  
  
**end memory**  
  
he had gotten sick of it and volunteered to find the others. Their voices still haunted him even now and so he concentrated on looking for Tasuki. Someone,called weaselgirl, had told him that there had been a fire nearby in the woods. Her name didn't make her seem like a trustworthy person, but she LOOKED nice and honest enough.  
  
Mitsukake picked up a piece of glass from the ground. He sniffed it gingerly and stood up. Smelled like sake. Tasuki must have been here, but where was he now?  
  
"AAHHH!!!"  
  
Mitsukake fell face-first into a pile of leaves. He turned around to see who or what had tripped him... a log. He had been so obsessed with finding the others that he hadnt paid attention to where he was going. Mitsukake began to get up, only to spy a shiny glint from under a leaf.  
  
He always had a love for shiny things, although he would NEVER tell the others that. And they wondered why he kept his medicines in CLEAR glass bottles instead of the wooden jars that other doctors used(1).  
  
"Oo... what is it?"  
  
he muttered as he picked up a long glass tube. It had markings ovber a side and... a line. A red line... amazing. There was also a silver side to the "tube" and when he put his hand on it for a closer look at the "thing" the red bar moved up. Where the line had ended at the line "96" it went to "96.5"(2)  
  
"AMAZING"  
  
Mitsukake turned the glass "thing" over and over again, trying to figure out every detail of how it worked. It couldn't be dangerous could it-  
  
"AHH!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Mitsukake clutched his finger as the "thing" dropped to the forest floor and broke in half. The light had reflected off the sun and hit his eyes, causing him to drop the "thing" and...  
  
"MY HAND!"  
  
...leaking what he realized to be mercury(3) onto his hand. He healed it immediately, before it could get into under his skin. It was pain beyond pain...Mitsukake ran away from the "thing" that leaked mercury as fast as he could...  
  
Behind him, the mercury was spreading fast through the leaves and towards the trees...  
  
TBC  
  
notes:  
  
I THINK other doctors used wooden jars...  
  
Im using U.S. things rite now... sorry people in Asia or something...  
  
He just knows about it from one of Miaka's books. -.-"  
  
Ok this chapter wasn't as funny, but come oN! It was MITSUKAKE!!!  
  
REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!please????????? for next chapter! If you want another chapter...no flames. 


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